Stories – from other sites
Jenin (Palestinian) and boyfriend (Israeli)
Posted on May 2, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: gay, immigration, Israeli, LGBT, Palestinian |
IDF allows gay Palestinian to reunite with Israeli lover
Young Jenin man seeking to move to Israel to live with Tel Avivian partner granted special permit by IDF after claiming his life at risk in PA
A 33 year-old gay Palestinian man from Jenin has recently been granted a temporary residency permit in Israel by the IDF, in order to allow him to reunite with his Israeli partner who lives in Tel Aviv.
The permit was issued by Coordinator of Government Activities in the Territories Maj.-Gen. Yosef Mishlav.
Several years ago, the Palestinian has filed a request with the Israeli Interior Ministry to receive residency status in Israel that would enable him to live with his lover for the past eight years, a computer engineer in his forties.
After he realized that obtaining the permit may take several years, the young man decided to seek the help of the IDF representative in the territories. In a letter to Mishlav he noted that ever since his family learned of his gay relationship with an Israeli man, he has been facing an ongoing threat to his life.
In an unprecedented move, Mishlav decided to grant the request and issue the Palestinian a temporary permit, which needs to be extended every month.
“We have been asking to be reunited for five years,” said his Israeli boyfriend Monday. “I’m suffering from a heart disease and need my partner beside me.”
The young Palestinian himself said that he has been examined by the Shin Bet. “There’s nothing wrong with me. All I want is to b with my boyfriend,” he stated.
Mishalv’s office stressed that “the permit has been issued to the applicant as an exception, until the Interior Ministry rules on the matter.”
This stroy is located at: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3523266,00.html
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Tom (Thailand) and Bill (U.S.)
Posted on April 28, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Bill, gay, immigration, LGBT, Thailand, Tom |
My name is Bill, and my spouse’s name is Tom. I’m using fictitious names, because I’m afraid Tom will be excluded from visiting the US if Immigration finds out that we have had a relationship for thirteen years, and that we were married in San Francisco in February 2004. You see, I am an American, and Tom is a Thai citizen. US Immigration will consider the fact the we were married as grounds for his exclusion on the basis that he might not intend to leave!
Unable to settle together in the USA, Tom and I have been living together in Thailand for over ten years now. We’ve become part of a local community in the north of the country. We have local families over for a day-long Christmas party every year, we contribute to the local Buddhist temple, and we pay for some students to attend a local grade school and university.
We’re financially well-off. Tom has a successful business exporting Thai handicrafts. I trade plastic parts made in China.
We’re happy in Thailand. We live in a country that has a culture in which our relationship is accepted by folks in cities and rural communities alike. It’s a good life.
There is a cloud over our heads, though. You see, my parents are now in their eighties, and it’s time for Tom and I to go care for them. What can we do? Mom and Dad live in the Midwest. America doesn’t recognize Tom’s right to come with me to care for them. My parents consider him as much a part of our family as I am, but my government considers him a stranger.
If the US recognized same-sex relationships like ours for the purpose of immigration, it would make for stronger families. The current policy keeps families apart for no logical reason. Just because it can, the US government tells me I must choose between the man I have built a life with and the parents who have raised me selflessly.
Religious leaders and politicians who profess to be pro-family should be the first to support America joining other countries who recognize that families come in many flavors, and that love strengthens families, doesn’t destroy them.
America, help keep our family together by allowing couples in committed same-sex relationships the same immigration rights as married couples.
My parents will thank you for it.
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/tom_bill.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )Claudia (Germany) and I (U.S.)
Posted on April 17, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: gay, Germany, immigration, lesbian |
Claudia and I met over the Internet in 1996. I was in Los Angeles and Claudia was in Bergheim, a little city outside Cologne, Germany. I never thought I would fall in love over the Internet, but it happened. After chatting for hours online, Claudia called me on the phone and invited me to visit her in Germany to go to a Melissa Etheridge concert. I was nervous at first but I accepted her gracious invitation.
The flight from Los Angeles to Frankfurt felt like an eternity! From the instant we saw each other in the airport, it was love at first sight. After meeting in person for the first time it reconfirmed all the feelings we had for each other when we were just communicating over the phone or on the Internet. So begun our love story and as well all the challenges that you face being a binational same sex couple.
After six months of being apart, Claudia got a student visa and was able to move to Los Angeles. Her student visa lasted for three years and then ran out at the beginning of 2000. At this point we were faced with the most difficult decision, whether I should move to Germany or stay in L.A.. The choice was clear to me. There was no way I wanted to end the most important relationship in my life.
Doing extensive research on gay rights in Germany, we discovered that Germany was in the process of giving legal rights to same sex partners. So we packed up all our things (including our cat and dog) and moved to Bergheim. It has been very challenging moving to another country, learning a new language and essentially starting all over again.
In August 2001 Germany passed a law giving gay and lesbians the right to enter into a civil union (or legal partnership) and receive many of the same rights as heterosexual married couples have. We got legally partnered in November of that year. The fact that Germany has legal rights for gay and lesbian couples has made it possible for us to start a life and future together.
We currently have started a massage business together and one of our dreams is to open a gay and lesbian friendly day spa in Cologne.
Claudia and I know how difficult it is to be faced with the challenges of moving to another country, assimilating to a new culture, and figuring our all the laws and regulations that pertain to same sex binational couples. We feel honored to be involved with Love Exiles and we hope that the chapter here in Cologne Germany will bring other binational same sex couples throughout Germany together.
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/claudia+lynnette_story.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )More On: Prossy Kakooza (Uganda)
Posted on April 2, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: gay, Kakooza, lesbian, Prossy, Uganda |
More information on the journey of Prossy has been posted.
This information was originally posted at and pulled from: http://madikazemi.blogspot.com/
Prossy Kakooza.
Saturday, 18 October 2008
Prossy Can Stay!
News from Manchester that Ugandan lesbian Prossy Kakooza has won her battle for asylum in the UK as the judge ruled in her favour and the Home Office are not going to appeal against the judge’s decision.
Prossy issued the following statement:
Dear friends: I get to stay!! Am still in shock, and am so sure it’s going to take days to sink in. But I have not stopped smiling since 12:00pm today, and won’t stop for a while.
I went with my friend Gwen and am so glad I did because when we left I was in a sort of daze! When this woman handed me the paper and said, “You have been granted leave to remain” my jaw nearly hit the floor. Always the pessimist, I thought this was where she told me “but the Home Office is appealing”. So Iasked if they were and she said no they were not. I had a bit of a hooray shout when we got out – couldn’t contain it.
You have held me together, you have held me upright when all I wanted to do was roll up in a heap and give up. You gave me the motivation to go on and fight! Going with me to places to collect signatures, encouraging people to sign online, coming to meetings, writing statements, going to court with me, and most importantly – all the prayers. And I don’t think you have any idea how the phone calls, texts and emails help. They kept me sane.
There are no appropriate words I can use to say thank you. All I can do is pray to my God to bless you all. You have changed my life and for that I will forever be grateful. THANK YOU!
Lots and lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Prossy
She had received a great deal of support including:
- 5200 people from countries, and church congregations, from all over the world who have signed her petition to the Home Office asking that she be allowed to stay;
- 100s of people who have written or emailed the Immigration Minister;
- the 80 members and friends of MCC Manchester who have supported her with their love, prayers, money and concern;
- the 19 friends who went to court with her and helped her collect signatures on her petition at Pride festivals all over the country;
- the ten friends who gave evidence in court on her behalf;
- Ruth Heatley from the Immigration Aid Unit and barristers Mark Schwenk and Mel Plimmer, the lawyers who drafted and prepared her case.
Prossy fled Uganda after being tortured and raped by police officers.
Her family had discovered Prossy and her partner in bed together and had marched them, naked, to the police station where they were detained. Prossy was subjected to horrific sexual attacks and physical torture. She escaped to the UK after her family bribed the guards to release her – as they wanted to deal with their family shame by having Prossy killed.
The Home Office denied her asylum and the original judge believed Prossy’s claim to have been raped and tortured but felt it would be safe to return her to a different part of Uganda.
Prossy won at a hearing on 3rd July. A senior Immigration Judge dismissed a previous Immigration Tribunal ruling which denied Prossy asylum, calling the judgement “a mess”. This ruling allowed Prossy to present her claim afresh.
Posted by Paul Canning
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
Prossy Kakooza news
Prossy’s petition has thus far garnered 4, 508 signatures.
Prossy won at a hearing on 3rd July. A senior Immigration Judge dismissed a previous Immigration Tribunal ruling which denied Prossy asylum, calling the judgement “a mess”.
This ruling allowed Prossy to present her claim afresh to an Asylum Tribunal. This hearing would likely look at the possibility of “internal relocation” in Uganda and examine her identity as an out and proud lesbian in the UK.
So Prossy’s case was presented Friday 5th September at the Asylum and Immigration Tribunal in Manchester.
A number of Prossy’s friends volunteered to write statements and give evidence in person in court. The case lasted all morning, included evidence from ten people and arguments by the Home Office Presenter and by Prossy’s barrister, the excellent Melanie Plimmer.
The normal practice in the Asylum Tribunals is for the judge to reserve judgement. The Judge must make her decision in the next ten days but it will take three to four weeks before the Home Office let Prossy know this decision. This means that the judgement is issued by post some weeks after the hearing. Sometimes there can be quite a long wait after the hearing to get the judgement.
Please keep Prossy, Ruth, her solicitor, and Melanie, her barrister, in your thoughts and prayers over the coming weeks.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Prossy Kakooza wins latest fight
By Andy Braunston
Ugandan Lesbian Prossy Kakooza today won the latest fight in her battle for asylum in the UK.
A senior immigration judge dismissed a previous Immigration Tribunal ruling, denying Prossy asylum, calling the judgement “a mess”.
Prossy fled Uganda after being tortured and raped by police officers.
Her family had discovered Prossy and her partner in bed together and had marched them, naked, to the police station where they were detained. Prossy was subjected to horrific sexual attacks and physical torture. She escaped to the UK after her family bribed the guards to release her – as they wanted to deal with their family shame by having Prossy killed.
The Home Office denied her asylum but the original judge believed Prossy’s claim to have been raped and tortured but felt it would be safe to return her to a different part of Uganda.
This ignored the facts, and case law, which suggests that someone who has been so mistreated by the state is likely to suffer similar mistreatment in the future.
Today’s ruling allows Prossy to present her claim afresh to an asylum tribunal. This hearing is likely to take place in the autumn where Prossy’s claim will be looked at, the possibility of “internal relocation” in Uganda examined and her identity as an out and proud lesbian in the UK considered.
Posted by Paul Canning
Gay men and women seeking refuge in UK still get rough deal as Rainbow Flag flies on embassies
Over the past week, the UK Government has earned itself considerable praise world-wide after flying ‘Rainbow Flags’ on two embassies in Eastern Europe during Gay Prides in Latvia and Poland.
Yet while the two flags were proudly flying on embassies in Riga and Warsaw, there are gay men and women who are seeking sanctuary in the United Kingdom, having fled their countries under threat of execution or lengthy imprisonment because of their sexuality.
And they are not being given a fair and compassionate hearing.
The Foreign and Commonwealth Office, headed by David Miliband, should be commended on its work in the LGBT rights field overseas. It’s recently-publish guidelines made a refreshing change.
But while the FCO takes justifiable praise, the Home Office remains, in those immortal words uttered by a Home Secretary of a couple of years ago, “not fit for purpose” when it comes to considering applications for refuge from gay men and women.
Thanks to campaigners, and considerable publicity on his case in the Scotland on Sunday newspaper, nineteen year old gay Syrian Jojo Jako Yakobv has had his “day in court” (an immigration appeals tribunal) and has been released from a young offenders centre on orders from the tribunal.
But what was Jojo doing in a young offenders centre in the first place? What “offence” has he committed?
While it is still not certain that he will be granted refuge in the UK, things are looking far more hopeful that they were a month ago.
But for Ugandan lesbian Prossy Kakooza, things are not so good.
She arrived in the UK in July last year, having fled her country after being severely beaten and burned by police purely on the grounds of her sexuality. In addition she was repeatedly raped while in custody.
Such were her injuries that when she sought medical help on arrival in UK doctors were so shocked at the extent of her injuries that the police were called.
Prossy left behind a girlfriend who is still believed to be in detention in Uganda.
The Home Office accepts that Prossy was brutally raped and burned. Yet they want to deport her back to Uganda, saying that she can settle in another town.
But a phone call to the FCO would probably tell the Home Office that there is little freedom of movement in Uganda, as we enjoy in Europe, and that a person wishing to relocate needs what amounts to a “reference” from one’s home town or village.
Meanwhile, Prossy, a 26 year old university educated Ugandan lesbian, lives in fear of deportation, via Yarl’s Wood, to Kampala.
The Metropolitan Community Church in Manchester has started a campaign “Prossy Must Stay”, and her story.
The Home Office certainly needs to answer some questions. Do they ever consult the Foreign and Commonwealth Office about situations in “problem countries” when it comes to matters of sexuality? Do they even read the “situation reports” published by such respected human rights groups as Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch?
From judgements and reasons given for deportation to gay and lesbian refugee applicants – not to mention a statement in the House of Lords by a Home Office Minister a few months ago, it would seem doubtful.
UK Gay News has actually heard an immigration appeal tribunal in Birmingham tell a gay Iranian, who fled his country when the ‘religious police’ knocked on the door of his home to arrest him, that he should be returned to Iran where he could make an “application to the British Embassy in the usual way”.
And in another case involving an Iranian, a tribunal questioned the discrepancy in dates on an application and accompanying paperwork, refusing to believe that the calendar used is not the same as used in the West. Application was refused.
There might be very good reason why some applications from refugees are turned down. And it is accepted that this can be a very emotive subject.
But from where UK Gay News stands, it looks as though the Home Office is making decisions, sometimes literally life or death, to hit deportation targets, which in turn pleases the UK tabloids.
At the end of the day, the UK is not ruled by the largely xenophobic and anti-gay tabloid press.
The government should return to the traditional “British way” of compassion based on fairness and forget the emotive and ‘anti’ language of the tabloids.
One can but hope that the lead taken by David Miliband at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office is noted – and acted upon – by Jacqui Smith at the Home Office.
Posted by Paul Canning
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Prossy Kakooza Must Stay
Prossy Kakooza is a 26-year-old woman seeking asylum in the UK. She fled Uganda after suffering vicious sexual, physical and verbal attacks due to her sexual orientation.
Prossy had been forced into an engagement when her family discovered her relationship with the girlfriend she met at university, Leah. Both women were marched two miles naked to the police station, where they were locked up.
Prossy’s inmates subjected her to gross acts of humiliation. She was violently raped by police officers who taunted her with derogatory comments like ‘’we’ll show you what you’re missing’’ and ‘’you’re only this way because you haven’t met a real man’’. She was also scalded on her thighs with hot meat skewers.
Prossy was eventually taken out of prison after her father bribed the guards. Her family had decided they would sacrifice her instead, believing this would ‘’take the curse away from the family’’.
Whilst her family were making arrangements to slaughter her, Prossy managed to flee to the United Kingdom to seek asylum.
When Prossy went for treatment to her local GP’s surgery in the UK they were so shocked by the extent of her injuries they called the police.
She was taken to the St. Mary’s Centre in Manchester, and she is still receiving counselling there for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Prossy’s asylum application has been refused by the Home Office, who acknowledge she was brutally raped and burnt because of the medical evidence, but have dismissed these appalling attacks as ‘’the random actions of individuals’’, and state she can be returned to a different town in Uganda.
This judgement ignores the clear danger to gay people throughout the country where the penalty for homosexuality is life imprisonment.
Also, in Uganda, you cannot settle in a new town without a reference from your previous village, and on the basis she is a lesbian, Prossy would be subjected to similar persecution wherever she went.
We consider that if Prossy is sent back, she faces the continuing threat of incarceration, and further sickening attacks – which next time may be fatal.
Prossy is a highly educated woman who can be a productive member of society.
She has a right to be free with her sexuality, which is causing no harm to anyone, and she has a right not to be raped, attacked, or murdered.
This story is located at: http://madikazemi.blogspot.com/
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Rik (Holland) and Bob (U.S.)
Posted on April 2, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Bob, gay, Holland, immigration, Rik |
Now that I have been in Holland for nine years, I’ve settled in. I have a good job. As an international lawyer, I was able to expand into new fields that I didn’t even know existed before I came here. Rik has become a judge in the federal court in Rotterdam. We have married each other. We have a beautiful home and many friends. In fact, I have a fuller life here than I could in the US, because of the rights and recognition that Dutch society affords us. You don’t know how many rights you lack, until you get them.
Even so, it hurts that my own country has in some ways fundamentally rejected who I am. It hurts to be a second-class American citizen, deprived of the rights that my heterosexual US friends who live in Holland have. The “defence of marriage act” (which does quite the opposite) means that homophobia is America’s official policy. Because of it, Rik and I can only be tourists, at best, in my own land.
When I celebrated my 50th birthday last year, I started to think vaguely about retirement. I realized that I could never retire to America, close to the rest of my family, together with Rik, because he cannot get a residence visa. Admittedly, this is a something of a luxury problem, not comparable to illness or poverty. But, even so, the country that regards itself as the bastion of liberty has grievously reduced my civil rights. England, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Israel, Australia, South Africa, Canada and other countries have all adopted sane policies toward the legal rights of their gay citizens. Only the US remains in its macho state, forcing hundreds if not thousands of its citizens to live abroad as I must.
I can only hope that wise heads will prevail, and some day let me return home to live there together with Rik.
– Bob
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/bob_story.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Immigration stories from the National Center of Lesbian Rights (NCLR)
Posted on March 30, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Angelica, Eduardo, gay, lesbian, LGBT, Mexico, Uganda |
In re M.G.
M.G. is a gay man from Mexico who came to the United States fleeing physical abuse from gangs and extortion by the police. When his mother died when he was 17, M.G. faced more physical violence from his father and his oldest brother because of his sexual orientation. Feeling desperate, he moved out and was homeless until he was eventually taken in by a neighbor in his small town of Mixquiahuala de Juarez. This neighbor treated him like a son and gave him shelter, food, and protection. Nevertheless, her sons were unhappy about M.G. staying there and would not allow him to eat at the table with them or enter their homes. By the time he was 20, he left and headed for the capital, where he found a job in an auto shop. He also lived in the shop because he could not afford to pay rent. While living in the capital, he was attacked several times by a gang for being gay and was being extorted by the police. He decided to flee to the United States and apply for asylum with the help of NCLR. His application is pending.
To follow this case please visit the following URL at: http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_caseDocket_inremg
In re E.G.
E.G. is a young gay man who came to the United States in order to pursue higher education from Uganda, where being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender is criminalized. In Uganda, he was often verbally abused by his family members for being gay, and he had to hide his feelings for fear of being arrested by the police on the basis of his sexual orientation. He eventually moved to the United States, but a family friend in the U.S. found out about his sexual orientation and told his family, who were then questioned by the Ugandan police. The police threatened his family and warned them that if E.G. returned to Uganda, he will be arrested. E.G. is currently proceeding with his asylum application, which is pending.
To follow this case please visit the following URL at: http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_caseDocket_inreEG
In re A.C
.A.C. is a prominent lesbian activist for LGBT rights and women’s rights in Honduras. A paramilitary gang of masked, armed men attacked A.C. in her home in Honduras and sexually assaulted her while making derogatory comments about her sexual orientation. A.C. did not report the sexual assault to the police, fearing that the police would subject her to further harassment or violence. After the attack, A.C. received a series of threatening phone calls that also used derogatory terms to describe her sexual orientation. She eventually fled to the United States and filed for asylum. The Immigration Judge granted A.C. asylum, but the Department of Homeland Security appealed that decision to the Board of Immigration Appeals (BIA). In March 2009 the BIA affirmed the grant of asylum, noting that it is well established that human rights violations against LGBT people are pervasive in Honduras and that the Honduran government cannot be relied upon to protect LGBT people against such harm. NCLR assisted A.C.’s pro bono counsel, Robin Nunn, in preparing her brief for the BIA. Aslyum has been granted.
To follow this case please visit the following URL at:
http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_caseDocket_inreac
In re Angelica
Angelica was born in Mexico City to a family that raised her with the expectation that she would get married and have children. Her family was also extremely controlling and abusive. She was not permitted to participate in any activities outside of the home and was physically abused throughout her childhood. When a rumor spread at her school that she had been spotted kissing a girl, in addition to being terrified of her family’s reaction, Angelica began facing regular harassment and even physical assaults by classmates and men from her neighborhood. After a young gay man from the neighborhood was viciously murdered, Angelica fled to the U.S. Eventually, she found her way to a shelter where she got in touch with NCLR, the Women’s Building, and Instituto Familiar de la Raza. With NCLR’s help, she filed for asylum and it was granted in September 2008. Asylum Granted.
To follow this case please visit the following URL at:
http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_caseDocket_inreangelica
In re Eduardo
Eduardo is a transgender man from Mexico. When he was a child, his parents often verbally and physically abused him in an attempt to alter his gender identity. After enduring this physical and verbal abuse, Eduardo left his home town for another city in Mexico. He was able to obtain a degree in order to work as a teacher, but he was often harassed because he presented himself as a male, while his ID identified him as female. In 2003, he left Mexico after receiving death threats from his girlfriend’s family. He could not start his transition in the U.S. until recently, when he was able to find the resources that he needed. He will be applying for asylum in the summer of 2009.
To follow this case please visit the following URL at:
http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_caseDocket_inreEduardo
The National Center for Lesbian Rights:
http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_immigration
The National Center for Lesbian Rights is committed to helping overcome the immigration hurdles faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender immigrants. U.S. immigration law unfairly discriminates against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people and people with HIV and/or AIDS. Since 1994, NCLR’s Immigration Project has provided free legal assistance to thousands of LGBT immigrants nationwide. Through our national intake service, as well as through free monthly clinics in the San Francisco Bay Area, we help LGBT immigrants understand visas, asylum claims, and the HIV exclusion. NCLR also provides direct representation to LGBT immigrants in impact cases and individual asylum claims. In addition, NCLR provides assistance to private attorneys representing LGBT immigrants in proceedings before the Immigration Court, the Board of Immigration Appeals, the Federal Courts of Appeal, and the U.S. Supreme Court.
Donna and Marie-Jo
Posted on March 29, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Belgium, Donna, gay, immigration, lesbian, LGBT, Marie-Jo |
We met in 1994 while Marie-Jo was on assignment in Washington, DC. We married religiously with the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) on May 4, 1996 in Arlington, VA where we lived at the time. When Marie-Jo had to return to Belgium at the end of 1998, fortunately she was legally able to sponsor me as her partner for immigration purposes and I obtained a Belgian residency permit.
We entered into a Registered Partnership as soon as that became legal in 2000. On February 14, 2004, the first day that marriage was legal for same-sex couples with one Belgian partner and one non-Belgian partner (no matter what the country of origin or that country’s laws on same-sex marriage) we were legally married at the City Hall here in Waterloo Belgium.
We hope that one day our marriage will be recognized by the federal and state governments in the U.S.A. I would like the same immigration rights as straight couples to be able to sponsor my spouse for residency in the U.S.A. We would like to move back to the U.S.A. where my entire family of 8 younger brothers and sisters, 11 nieces and nephews, and my 88-year old father all live.
– Donna
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/donna_story.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )jAms (Canada) and Shannon (United States)
Posted on March 25, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Canada, gay, immigration, jAms, LGBT, San Francisco, Shannon |
Shannon and I met one week upon my arrival in San Francisco in the summer 2007. I was only visiting for 6 weeks, and wanted to check out the queer arts and culture in the Bay Area. Our romance began as a magical summer love.
Close to my departure, Shannon decided to come see me in Vancouver where I was heading for my return plane to France. We started to make plans for her to come visit me in France, and for me to come stay longer in San Francisco after I was done with my studies the following year. Shannon started to take French classes. I looked at grants and schools in the Bay Area for a graduate program. We lived long-distance over a year with times when Shannon came to Paris or I traveled back to the US. Finally, I moved to San Francisco at the end of August 2008 on a tourist visa, hoping to create a life together, and ready to do whatever I could to stay in the country, near my love.
The more I looked at it, the more scary it became. The first weeks, I understood that even if we decide to get married (as it was legal at that time in California), this ceremony would not give me any immigration rights, which are on a federal level. It could even go against us, as I would become a visible illegal immigrant if I decided to stay beyond my tourist visa’s legal limit. I knew this was not a good idea. I started to look at the idea of a male partner to marry. This option did not appeal to us. It is based on lying about our love and our queer identities.
As a transgender person, the solution I was told was to transition all the way, change my gender identification to male, then I could marry Shannon. This is totally unconceivable for me. I have no money, no time, and actually no desire to pass as a male, nor to talk to doctors about my gender identity. Actually, living in San Francisco makes me feel a lot better about my gender expression and I believe this is another reason why I should be offered a better shelter here in California.
The american government does not provide any help for LGBT immigrants.
I applied for a graduate program starting in Septembre 2009. I have to leave in two weeks, and I know I will not be able to use my tourist visa anymore, as I have used it too many times and become “suspicious” to any Customs officer. The times when I had to cross the border are the worst memories of my time in the United States. I was put under pressure, and I knew I could not talk about the real reasons that brought me to this unlikable border: being in love and wanting to be happy.
I am hoping to be accepted to school. I am looking for financial support everywhere I put my eyes on but I do not know if/when I will be able to cross back again. If I do get a student visa, it again will be for a temporary stay of a couple of years. And then, what? I just wish Shannon could sponsor me as a resident, so that we can explore more our life together and continue provide this country of the cultural diversity that makes it so different and rich. -jAms
When jAms and I met, it was like a dream. I knew the reality of different cultures and limited time together, but I wanted to focus on the connection we had and the magic of the present moment. I wanted us to live the dream for as long as we could. That dream has now lasted almost two years.
Yet there have been many moments of heartbreak. It breaks my heart to try to cross the border to my country of birth with the person that I love and to hear and see the way that immigration officials engage in front of signs promising that they will treat each person that comes through with respect. It breaks my heart that they ask for proof that my love does not want to live here, asking for bank statements, insinuating misuse of visas although jAms has never been in this country illegally.
We spend months apart and then have weeks together. We’ve now had the longest time together and it is coming to an end as the visa comes to an end. Again we must separate. Again our relationship is not validated. Again we don’t know the next time that we will get to see one another. I never know if this dream has come to an end or we can keep believing in a future together. -Shannon
(photo; personal; “October 2008 – a fancy date”, jAms & Shannon together since: June 7, 2007)
This story is located at (to include pictures): http://imeq.us/our_stories/files/category-living-in-separation.html
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Javier (Mexico) and Victor (Puerto Rico)
Posted on March 25, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: gay, immigration, Javier, LGBT, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Victor |
My name is Javier. I am a 27 years old Mexican gay guy who fell in love with a beautiful 36 years old Puerto Rican. We meet in Dallas, Texas a couple of years ago and immediately fell in love. We started living together shortly after a few months of dating. After this period of time, I decided to move to Puerto Rico with him on a tourist visa. Before my I-94 expired, I went back to Mexico to apply for a student visa. My student visa petition was denied and my tourist visa was revoked. Since then, we have been living in a nightmare. He lives in Puerto Rico and I live in Mexico. We live every day separated from each other, because we have been trying to get my student visa so we can be together. We are so desperate…hopeless… and we cant wait to be together as soon as possible. We will fight ’til the end. We won’t give up. But sometimes, even when we both try very hard to stay calm, somedays we just can’t. I hope we can find the fastest way to be together soon. WE ARE ALL EQUAL. WE ARE NOT SECOND CLASS CITIZENS. WE DESERVE THE SAME RIGHTS. We send all our support to all the couples out there who live in the same situation. I’m also writing this to express to my boyfriend, THAT I LOVE HIM VERY VERY MUCH. MY HOPE IS FOR GOD TO HELP US ALL!!..GOD BLESS YOU!!..
This story is located at (includes photo): http://imeq.us/our_stories/files/category-living-in-separation.html
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )Stephanie (UK)
Posted on March 22, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: bisexual, immigration, LGBT, Stephanie, UK |
I recently came out as bisexual to my British husband of 6 years. I hail from New York but live permanently now in south west of England with him in a relatively rural location, well outside London, so I have come to expect some relatively provincial attitudes about most things related to gender, sexuality and marriage roles.
My husband’s response was loving and beautiful and akin to “oh now that explains some things.” He was only sad that I took so long to trust him with this and that still lingers between us, unresolved. And though he was raised by middle English parents with some run of the mill and tedious homophobic attitudes (his parents think our gay male nanny is a ‘obviously’ a child molestor and are entirely blind to the fact that their younger son is quite likely gay), his attitude to my bisexuality is so-far postive and progressive.
After making it known to him, though, I slowly started to make it known to friends and colleagues, gay and straight, that while I was happily married with kids, my psychosexual self (for lack of less psychobabbly term) was bisexual. I got every response from neutral acceptance through to encouragement from my gay and lesbian friends, but the straight friends still surprisingly held some seriously old fashioned views.
So far none of them have shunned me or seem to direct any overt hostility towards me, but there is a passive aggressive line of questioning that I keep getting. Questions like: “But doesn’t that mean you are really just a lesbian and don’t want to admit it?” or, “So are you leaving your husband for a woman then?” And my ‘favourite’: “How can you be bisexual and monogamous?” That seemed to be the prevelent attitude really — that bisexual either meant a life-long menage with both a man and a woman at once or a life where you could not commit to only one partner.
The concept that I was a married, monogamous woman just happy and more content to finally be honest about who I really am was not sufficient. Saying I was bisexual now meant I needed to “do something about it.” Again, this is all very new to my friends and husband… but that is what I experienced so far. A set of sadly retrograde questions and the expectation that my ability to be faithful was under scrutiny. I suspect there will be more to come, but for now … that’s it.
This story is located at: http://ilga.org/ilga/en/countries/WORLD/Your%20Stories
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )« Previous Entries Next Entries »


