Ratanak Rin (Cambodia)

Posted on March 22, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Cambodia, gay, immigration |

I was born in Cambodia in 1993 and my parent left me when I was 3 years old and my grandma and aunts took care of me for 11 years back in Cambodia. I like living with them and I always knew that I am different, because I only hangout with girls since I was very little, my bestest friend ever was a girl and she is 2 years older than me and she always love me for whatever I do and for whoever I am. Her name is Sokun.

I saw one of my baby picture and I was wearing a skirt while on a swing. I always knew that I am gay, because I always like boys and their private part. Life wasn’t that hard for me back then since I was only a kid.

In July 2004 I came to the united state without knowing much about it. I was new, I went to Canyon middle school and everyone was making fun of me bully me for many reasons. I cannot speak English or understand anything at all back then, but peoples keep talking to me and I never reply back. I choose not to say anything at all, especially, if it is in English.

Many years went by and it’s 6 years late, I have not talk at school at all, but I do talk at home since I am good with my language and comfortable with it. It’s not because I am afraid that I sound girly or anything, I just don’t want to be dumb and say English words wrong so I never really speak to anyone.

I am openly gay at the age of 15 in my Junior year in Mclane High school, located in Fresno. I wear makeup, I wear skinnies, and I look just like a gay boy. No one in the school is as gay as me by the look, but I have a friend who name is Ernesto Rojas, he make me come out and he is my hero. He make me happy when I’m sad and he always teach me that I should never let anyone put me down for whatever reasons and that I should stand up for myself no matter what and I did starting from that day on.

I am a new person, an openly express person who never let anyone put me down nomore, no matter whatever reasons. I am unique and I was born with a reason of originality and to be able to express myself in many ways, I call that the Rainbow! I am openly gay to everyone except my own family I live with, they won’t let me grow my hair, they won’t let me do anything, but I still sneak and do it when I am at school and I was able to express myself as much as I can to the world.

I haven’t really told my family yet, because I don’t think they will approve and I”m only 16. Right now they’re already torturing me with this and that and ask if I’m a boy or a girl and they even threadten to cut my private part off. If they’re going to do that they should just take me to the specialist and give me boob and vagina. But I don’t really care, I’m fine with who I am as a boy and gay, either way it’s me.

At school I have many gay, lesbian, and bi friends. My school are full of Gay peoples so I’m pretty much happy with my surrounding. Noone really make fun of me anymore because I was able to stand out and be in the center of everyone attention, I am proud of myself and I love everyone no matter who they’re.

I especially love all my friends, they’re everything to me, always tehre by my side and support me through all kind of sad situation. They’re so caring, I’m glad my world is not that bad, but at home I have to do all this and that, cleaning while my brother play games and such and he is like taller than I am and such. I am being judge at home. It’s hurt to be home than to be openly gay outside! Just so you know, they need to understand and learn more about gay peoples so that they know what we’re going through. Many asian peoples have no ideas what Gay mean and how many different type of gays are in this world and that every gay person are not the same and such.

I like it in the USA because many peoples know and understand the life of gay peoples and they’re willing to accept us for who we are. We’re unique and we’re born to be different, so don’t ever let anyone put you down. Just wait until you get to 18, you will be able to move out on your own and be your own person. I am currently 16 but I understand pretty much anything about Gay peoples, I watch, I join meeting, I join group, activities, I watch videos all about being gay. I know it’s hard but you have to live with it, because it’s you, you can’t change who you’re and try to be a different person.

Just be yourself, be unique, let others say this and that about you, and if they’re being really mean to you, you should go to them and let them know and understand about us instead of hiding yourself and do nothing. Let them know that you’re different from what they’re thinking and that you’re as nice as can be. Express yourself to the world! Don’t be sad, there are many of us out here and we know what you have to go through!…I am here to represent all of us Cambodia!!!

This story is located at:  http://ilga.org/ilga/en/countries/WORLD/Your%20Stories