Working with Metaphors in Counseling
Posted on March 22, 2010. Filed under: Resources | Tags: Counseling, gay, lesbian, LGBT, Metaphors |
By Ash Rehn
I work with metaphors and many of my clients are gay men and lesbians. The approach I use in counselling /psychotherapy is based on the principal that we interpret and make meaning of life through the stories we tell ourselves and others. These stories about the events and experiences of our lives employ metaphors.
The ‘journey’ metaphor (life as a journey) is very common in counselling work as are pedagogic metaphors (life as learning). But rather than come up with the metaphors myself, I am interested in the metaphors people bring to the counselling session. As a therapist I do not set about making interpretations but assist people to make their own interpretations.
For example… Say I am meeting with a client who talks about not being able to find any satisfaction in life. He has been searching for satisfaction for a long time. He knows it exists because he knows some other gay men who seem to have found it, but he was always told when he was growing up that satisfaction came from having a family and finding a loving partner. He hasn’t been able to find satisfaction and has often thought about giving up (the giving up took the form of suicidal thoughts), but something leads him to keep pursuing it.
This story could be seen as a kind of a quest metaphor: the quest for satisfaction. In telling me the story of this search he uses words like ‘finding’, ‘searching’, ‘existence’, ‘giving up’ and ‘pursuing’.
So I can pick up this metaphor and start using it with him, using his own language and interpretation of the events and experiences of his life to find new clues, signposts etc to explore the origins of this quest with him. Quest metaphors are not uncommon of course and we see them regularly in films such as The Wizard of Oz, and Lord of the Rings etc.
Someone else might come to me with a problem of ‘Not knowing How to Make Friends’. So there is a metaphor here in the ‘making’. This person has ‘almost given up’ because it requires ‘too much effort’ and he has ‘nothing to see for it’. When I ask about what he has heard about making friends he tells me that he understands it takes ‘Time, Trust and Effort’. And from his experience already he has decided that it is quite hard to build on ‘one night stands’ or random hook ups’ because the whole thing is liable to ‘come crumbling down’ too easily.
This sounds to me like a construction metaphor. I can follow this up with him by asking about plans and dreams of what kinds of friendships he wants to build. Are they great edifices or cosy hideaways? If random hook ups don’t seem to work, what sort of foundations might work? What is the cement of friendship? What are the building blocks? Does he know of any ‘finished products’ or ‘works in progress’ he can get ideas from?
I find metaphors really stimulating. Firstly, I don’t come up with them, others do, but I can help develop the preferred story and plotlines. Metaphors also speak to the hopes, beliefs, commitments and values people have. And hearing about these is just as important as hearing the ‘problem story’.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )LGBT Immigration Stories
Posted on November 1, 2009. Filed under: Purpose | Tags: Angelica, Anke, Arsham Parsi, Belarus, Belgium, bi-national, Bill, bisexual, Bob, Cambodia, Canada, Collective Wisdom, Counseling, Donna, Eduardo, gay, Germany, Holland, immigration, Iran, Israeli, jAms, Javier, Jen, Kakooza, lesbian, Marie-Jo, Marriage, Metaphor, Metaphors, Mexico, Palestinian, Prossy, Puerto Rico, Rik, San Francisco, Shannon, Stephanie, Thailand, Tina, Tom, Uganda, UK, Victor |
Area of Interest:
Story telling as an educational tool is a wonderful thing. So what we are proposing is to putting out requests that give the identified population a chance to share their stories and putting them together to create a collective wisdom. Our reason for approaching the subject in this manner is to give a nurturing space for creating community and access to information that will support others during a time that could potentially by one of the most stressful and difficult transitions in their lives. If you or someone you know has an interest and are willing to share your/their story please post it here or email us. Also, feel free to share this information with other organizations or individuals that may be interested.
Would you like to share your story?
Do you have a story to tell about your experience as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender (LGBT) immigrant? Are you interested in sharing it with people learning about LGBT immigration? If so, this is your chance to participate in a collective wisdom study. I am a graduate student of Antioch University Seattle and am in the process of compiling stories of LGBT immigrants. I am seeking to provide a unique opportunity for LGBT immigrants a chance to share their stories and experiences that statistics do not provide. For instance, stories that describe the adjustments / challenges experienced as you leave or integrate into another culture. What changes did you expereince/make? How did you balance the needs of your family and culture of origin with the needs of the new culture? As you made the adjustments, what worked well for you and what would you do differently? Other story possibilities may include the relationship you have with you family/spouse/siblings/children/parents? It’s your story, tell it your way. This is an opportunity for you to share your experience with others, some of whom may be in their own journey.
Guidelines for Submission:
(Please note that these stories are not intended to provide an opportunity for individuals or groups to insult or offend others. We ask that authors respect the privacy of individuals who may be mentioned in the stories they submit by using fictional (fake) names. We also ask that authors be respectful of others in their expression of opinions. Submitted stories will be screened based on these and other criteria. Stories submitted that seem rude, offensive, or generally distasteful
will not be accepted.) The following is a suggestion but you may omit as much information as you like.
* The author or group of authors will have immigrated from one country to another or from one region to another.
* References to other resources should be included at the end of the story in a bibliography
* Person or persons submitting story must be the author
* More than one short story can be submitted
* It is preferred that stories be submitted in American English and am willing to accept submissions in any language
* Please verify that your contact information is accurate in your submission
* If desired I am willing to conduct or accept an audio or video interview instead of a written story.
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LGBT IMMIGRATION STORIES 