Rik (Holland) and Bob (U.S.)
Posted on April 2, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Bob, gay, Holland, immigration, Rik |
Now that I have been in Holland for nine years, I’ve settled in. I have a good job. As an international lawyer, I was able to expand into new fields that I didn’t even know existed before I came here. Rik has become a judge in the federal court in Rotterdam. We have married each other. We have a beautiful home and many friends. In fact, I have a fuller life here than I could in the US, because of the rights and recognition that Dutch society affords us. You don’t know how many rights you lack, until you get them.
Even so, it hurts that my own country has in some ways fundamentally rejected who I am. It hurts to be a second-class American citizen, deprived of the rights that my heterosexual US friends who live in Holland have. The “defence of marriage act” (which does quite the opposite) means that homophobia is America’s official policy. Because of it, Rik and I can only be tourists, at best, in my own land.
When I celebrated my 50th birthday last year, I started to think vaguely about retirement. I realized that I could never retire to America, close to the rest of my family, together with Rik, because he cannot get a residence visa. Admittedly, this is a something of a luxury problem, not comparable to illness or poverty. But, even so, the country that regards itself as the bastion of liberty has grievously reduced my civil rights. England, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Israel, Australia, South Africa, Canada and other countries have all adopted sane policies toward the legal rights of their gay citizens. Only the US remains in its macho state, forcing hundreds if not thousands of its citizens to live abroad as I must.
I can only hope that wise heads will prevail, and some day let me return home to live there together with Rik.
– Bob
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/bob_story.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )LGBT Immigration Stories
Posted on November 1, 2009. Filed under: Purpose | Tags: Angelica, Anke, Arsham Parsi, Belarus, Belgium, bi-national, Bill, bisexual, Bob, Cambodia, Canada, Collective Wisdom, Counseling, Donna, Eduardo, gay, Germany, Holland, immigration, Iran, Israeli, jAms, Javier, Jen, Kakooza, lesbian, Marie-Jo, Marriage, Metaphor, Metaphors, Mexico, Palestinian, Prossy, Puerto Rico, Rik, San Francisco, Shannon, Stephanie, Thailand, Tina, Tom, Uganda, UK, Victor |
Area of Interest:
Story telling as an educational tool is a wonderful thing. So what we are proposing is to putting out requests that give the identified population a chance to share their stories and putting them together to create a collective wisdom. Our reason for approaching the subject in this manner is to give a nurturing space for creating community and access to information that will support others during a time that could potentially by one of the most stressful and difficult transitions in their lives. If you or someone you know has an interest and are willing to share your/their story please post it here or email us. Also, feel free to share this information with other organizations or individuals that may be interested.
Would you like to share your story?
Do you have a story to tell about your experience as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender (LGBT) immigrant? Are you interested in sharing it with people learning about LGBT immigration? If so, this is your chance to participate in a collective wisdom study. I am a graduate student of Antioch University Seattle and am in the process of compiling stories of LGBT immigrants. I am seeking to provide a unique opportunity for LGBT immigrants a chance to share their stories and experiences that statistics do not provide. For instance, stories that describe the adjustments / challenges experienced as you leave or integrate into another culture. What changes did you expereince/make? How did you balance the needs of your family and culture of origin with the needs of the new culture? As you made the adjustments, what worked well for you and what would you do differently? Other story possibilities may include the relationship you have with you family/spouse/siblings/children/parents? It’s your story, tell it your way. This is an opportunity for you to share your experience with others, some of whom may be in their own journey.
Guidelines for Submission:
(Please note that these stories are not intended to provide an opportunity for individuals or groups to insult or offend others. We ask that authors respect the privacy of individuals who may be mentioned in the stories they submit by using fictional (fake) names. We also ask that authors be respectful of others in their expression of opinions. Submitted stories will be screened based on these and other criteria. Stories submitted that seem rude, offensive, or generally distasteful
will not be accepted.) The following is a suggestion but you may omit as much information as you like.
* The author or group of authors will have immigrated from one country to another or from one region to another.
* References to other resources should be included at the end of the story in a bibliography
* Person or persons submitting story must be the author
* More than one short story can be submitted
* It is preferred that stories be submitted in American English and am willing to accept submissions in any language
* Please verify that your contact information is accurate in your submission
* If desired I am willing to conduct or accept an audio or video interview instead of a written story.
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