Tom (Thailand) and Bill (U.S.)
Posted on April 28, 2010. Filed under: Stories - from other sites | Tags: Bill, gay, immigration, LGBT, Thailand, Tom |
My name is Bill, and my spouse’s name is Tom. I’m using fictitious names, because I’m afraid Tom will be excluded from visiting the US if Immigration finds out that we have had a relationship for thirteen years, and that we were married in San Francisco in February 2004. You see, I am an American, and Tom is a Thai citizen. US Immigration will consider the fact the we were married as grounds for his exclusion on the basis that he might not intend to leave!
Unable to settle together in the USA, Tom and I have been living together in Thailand for over ten years now. We’ve become part of a local community in the north of the country. We have local families over for a day-long Christmas party every year, we contribute to the local Buddhist temple, and we pay for some students to attend a local grade school and university.
We’re financially well-off. Tom has a successful business exporting Thai handicrafts. I trade plastic parts made in China.
We’re happy in Thailand. We live in a country that has a culture in which our relationship is accepted by folks in cities and rural communities alike. It’s a good life.
There is a cloud over our heads, though. You see, my parents are now in their eighties, and it’s time for Tom and I to go care for them. What can we do? Mom and Dad live in the Midwest. America doesn’t recognize Tom’s right to come with me to care for them. My parents consider him as much a part of our family as I am, but my government considers him a stranger.
If the US recognized same-sex relationships like ours for the purpose of immigration, it would make for stronger families. The current policy keeps families apart for no logical reason. Just because it can, the US government tells me I must choose between the man I have built a life with and the parents who have raised me selflessly.
Religious leaders and politicians who profess to be pro-family should be the first to support America joining other countries who recognize that families come in many flavors, and that love strengthens families, doesn’t destroy them.
America, help keep our family together by allowing couples in committed same-sex relationships the same immigration rights as married couples.
My parents will thank you for it.
This story is located at: http://loveexiles.org/tom_bill.htm
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )LGBT Immigration Stories
Posted on November 1, 2009. Filed under: Purpose | Tags: Angelica, Anke, Arsham Parsi, Belarus, Belgium, bi-national, Bill, bisexual, Bob, Cambodia, Canada, Collective Wisdom, Counseling, Donna, Eduardo, gay, Germany, Holland, immigration, Iran, Israeli, jAms, Javier, Jen, Kakooza, lesbian, Marie-Jo, Marriage, Metaphor, Metaphors, Mexico, Palestinian, Prossy, Puerto Rico, Rik, San Francisco, Shannon, Stephanie, Thailand, Tina, Tom, Uganda, UK, Victor |
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Story telling as an educational tool is a wonderful thing. So what we are proposing is to putting out requests that give the identified population a chance to share their stories and putting them together to create a collective wisdom. Our reason for approaching the subject in this manner is to give a nurturing space for creating community and access to information that will support others during a time that could potentially by one of the most stressful and difficult transitions in their lives. If you or someone you know has an interest and are willing to share your/their story please post it here or email us. Also, feel free to share this information with other organizations or individuals that may be interested.
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Do you have a story to tell about your experience as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender (LGBT) immigrant? Are you interested in sharing it with people learning about LGBT immigration? If so, this is your chance to participate in a collective wisdom study. I am a graduate student of Antioch University Seattle and am in the process of compiling stories of LGBT immigrants. I am seeking to provide a unique opportunity for LGBT immigrants a chance to share their stories and experiences that statistics do not provide. For instance, stories that describe the adjustments / challenges experienced as you leave or integrate into another culture. What changes did you expereince/make? How did you balance the needs of your family and culture of origin with the needs of the new culture? As you made the adjustments, what worked well for you and what would you do differently? Other story possibilities may include the relationship you have with you family/spouse/siblings/children/parents? It’s your story, tell it your way. This is an opportunity for you to share your experience with others, some of whom may be in their own journey.
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